Single Parenthood, Love and Marriage

Single parents are on the increase due to many factors. Divorce and separation rates are high, death deprives some of partners, Casual sex without commitment, high rates of teenage pregnancy due to watoto kumea pembe; all lead to single parenthood.

There are many single mothers than single Fathers. Irrespective of the cause of single parenthood, it is not an easy experience. More worse than financial and emotional struggle is social stigma associated with single parenthood; especially motherhood due to children out of wedlock.

Here on BD, people continue to express all manner of sentiments on Nasikoko. Nasikoko strictly means those who got pregnant out of wedlock and the divorced or separated. I personally believe all individuals deserve to find love and the partners they deserve. But young girl and young boy, do all you can to avoid having children out of wedlock.

If you are a single parent, these are the questions a person will consider before they commit to loving you
1. What was cause for single parenthood?
2. Where is the partner with whom the child was sired?
3. What role is the estranged partner playing?
4. What are the chances of the partner showing up later in the relationship
5. How has single parenthood influenced this person in terms of attitude towards partners?
6. Am I ready to take care of the child or children?
7. What is the attachment of the single parent to the child or children?
8. Will he or she create enough room as to love me unconditionally or love will start with, revolve around and end with the child
9. How do I compare to the estranged partner; in the case of the divorced or separated
10. What will my friends and relatives think about me?

All these questions make the dating scene completely different for single parents. Single mothers will tell you how the mention of their child sends men scampering into bilaa.

It is true, when you have a child out of wedlock, society is very unkind. And yes, you loose some bargaining chip or power because only strong or enlightened men see the Worth of a partner despite their past.

At the end of the end, someone marries or gets married because of love and practical considerations. In choosing a partner, whether omukhana, Sumba naperi, Nasikoko or "Wasikoko" all that matters is personal grooming and character. A single parent without character is far more disadvantaged than they can imagine.

I may become a single parent one day for some reason. If it happens, I know there are enough people who will judge me by the content of my character and not my status. All the best to all of us!

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